Blinding Truth
by Vainfinde
Summary: Lupin and Tonks barely know each other, and are given thier first assignment together. What happens when this mission turns out to raise more questions than answers, both for the Order and for Lupin and Tonks? Eventual LupinTonks Romance. Early OotP.
1. Not Quite Strangers

Not Quite Strangers

A/N: In this chapter they barely know each other, although they have met. I was thinking maybe they've known who each other are for about two or three weeks but they haven't really worked together yet. Therefore, in this story, they don't start off madly in love with each other, or even friends, exactly. I just wanted to start from this point and see where it goes. If you were looking for quick and dirty, look elsewhere .. I wanted to write something that defines how their relationship grows, because I think it is the sweetest thing . Rating will probably go up in future chapters. Enough blabbering from me, and on with the story…

From Tonks's Diary

_Day in and day out, I am waiting. Waiting for something. What, I cannot guess. A reason, I suppose. Something other than this same old routine of daily life. I work, I watch, I wait, I worry. The bitter stench of war is ever present, and it has all barely begun. ' How could life get more exciting?' so many would ask. To be an auror upon the return of the Dark Lord. But maybe excitement isn't what I'm looking for. That's not one of the missing pieces. So, tomorrow, the cycle begins again. Work, watch, wait, worry. And tomorrow will just be another day like any other. Unless I can find a way to make things more interesting… _

"Wotcher, Remus," Tonks said as she sat—well, tripped— herself next to him at the breakfast table. Today, her hair was long and sea green, her eyes a stormy gray.

He had been sipping his tea and swallowed carefully so he wouldn't chuckle at her unceremonious entrance. It had been a close call, but he hadn't choked and he hadn't laughed, so it turned out alright. "Good morning, Nympha—"

Glaring daggers, she hissed, "_Don't_ use that dreadful name. It's Tonks."

Looking amused, he attempted again. "Good morning, _Tonks_. Better?"

"Much." She grinned disarmingly. After a moment's silence, she commented in a bubbly, casual manner, "Haven't seen you around lately." They were not quite strangers, but she didn't know very much about him and he seemed to keep to himself. Normally she would scarcely have noticed his absence or been remotely curious, but she was quite sure he hadn't had an assignment recently, and wondered.

"I've been feeling a little under the weather," he replied mildly.

"Oh?" Tonks said, staring down at her plate and looking for all the world like she had been expecting anything else. She looked up at him with faint concern lining her features. "I'm sorry to hear that. I trust you're feeling better now?"

"Reasonably. For a man of my age, that is." Staring at the empty spot at the table across from him, he ran a hand through his hair, something that was obviously a habit. Her eyes were drawn to the gray streaks in his hair at the gesture. Despite them, Tonks didn't think he looked old, just…tired.

She scoffed. "You're not that old, Remus."

Lupin sighed and turned to look at her. "A good deal older than you, Miss Tonks."

Tonks made a face at the title. "I'm not one of your students, _Professor._"

"You certainly are picky about what people call you." Lupin noted.

"Well, a lot's in a name, you know." She had been using her hand animatedly as she spoke and now smoothly transitioned to pick up her fork and stab eagerly at her food.

Tonks' hunger began to set in and she practically inhaled her breakfast after merely staring at it for the entire length of their conversation. Lupin had opened his mouth to respond but stopped and watched in amazement.

Her cheeks tinged ever so slightly pink as she saw his reaction. A grin tried to work its way onto her face but her mouth was still full and it didn't work very well. It ended up being a closed-mouth and very puffy-cheeked restrained giggle. When she was finally able to speak again, she muttered, "Sorry. I'm starving. I just…kind of… noticed, all the sudden."

Before Lupin could reply, Molly walked into the kitchen. "No need to apologize, dear. Eat up. Remus, you too."

Lupin nodded, and finished his breakfast without hurrying. He thanked Molly and was about to leave when Mad-Eye entered the room.

At about the same time, Tonks scrunched up her nose with the effort of changing her appearance. Her hair was now considerably shorter. Where before it had nearly come to her waist, now it framed her face and fell just past her chin. The color was still sea green, but to make it more interesting, the tips were a shimmering silver.

"Tonks," Mad-Eye growled by way of greeting. He gave a small nod in Lupin's direction. "Remus." He leaned over the table and set a piece of parchment where they could both see it. "I've got an assignment for you."

Clipped to the piece of parchment was a photograph of an old house that appeared to be on the verge of collapse. It was apparent that it had been ill-cared for and had experienced many years of neglect. The window shutter was crooked, hanging by one hinge and swaying with a creaky noise in the breeze.

"Muggles think this house is haunted." Mad-Eye explained. "I want you two to take a look and make sure there are no foundations to these rumors. Muggles tend to be fairly unobservant of true magic at work, but you never know. Check for any signs of Death Eater activity in the vicinity, recent or otherwise."

With that he left, muttering loudly over his shoulder, "Remember! Con—"

"—stant vigilance!" Lupin and Tonks finished for him simultaneously. "We know." Tonks added, rolling her eyes.

Lupin took the photograph and the piece of parchment. Scanning it, he saw that it listed the address of the house as well as the names of a number of recent muggle owners and the reasons why they left so soon after purchasing the home. He raised an eyebrow.

_Name Reason for Leaving_

Cecilia Moore Infestations of bats and rats Edward GrantWindows keep breaking, even after bars have been 

_put in front of the glass. I've replaced them three times._

Autumn and Jason Holloway Hissing, snakelike noises at odd times in the night 

There was more, but he stopped reading and handed the parchment to Tonks. "Looks like he may be onto something. Third line down."

The color drained out of her face a little. "You don't think…"

"Voldemort himself? No. Mad-Eye would have more than prepared for that. He wouldn't wish us off with a simple 'Constant vigilance' then. But maybe, at one point, Voldemort hid there. Or some other parseltongue among his followers."

Tonks flinched at the name the first time, but steeled herself against the impulse the second. Her expression was noticeably more cheerful after his response. "Well, you ready?" He nodded. "This'll be interesting, to see what Muggles qualify as 'haunted'. Funny, don't you think, how they're so quick to deny magic when they see it but spend so much time making up fairy tales and superstitions."

"That does seem irrational and hypocritical." Lupin murmured in agreement.

"Oh, come on, Remus, you say that like it's a bad thing." Tonks teased. "I'll have you know that being irrational has helped me out of quite a few sticky situations at the ministry. Of course, don't go telling—" She stumbled on an uneven section of the sidewalk and almost fell face first but caught herself just in time. He had leaned forward to help her but she waved him off, an embarrassed grin on her face. "I'm fine, just a bit more clumsy than I'd like. Anyway, as I was saying, don't go telling that to Moody!"

Lupin paused for a moment and remembered she was also an Auror, albeit one just out of training. The thought made him realize how much younger than him she really was. She was so young, closer in age to Harry and Ron and Hermione than him, and suddenly he could see it where he had scarcely noticed before. Her vibrant energy compared to his mild manner, the brisk gait she walked at while his strides were longer but slower. "You can trust me."

They were several blocks away from Grimmauld Place now. Lupin looked around for any muggles that might be nearby and then suggested, "Around the next corner there's a small alley. From there we should be able to apparate to—" he checked the address quickly, "Briarwood Circle unseen."

The alley was abandoned just as he had hoped, and with a loud popping noise the two of them stood in the far corner of the yard, overgrown with trees. The house was every bit as decrepit as it had appeared in the picture. But what that rendition had not been able to convey was the awful smell of rotting wood and who knew what else that emanated from the property.

Lupin and Tonks exchanged a disgusted glance. "Now this is what you call a fixer-upper," She commented as Lupin prodded the bottom step of the porch with his toe in order to determine if it was safe to walk on. He gingerly stepped on the next one and motioned for her to follow. The stairs creaked under the strain of their feet, decayed from disuse. "Think any of those muggles moved out just for the smell?" Tonks asked lightheartedly. Lupin chuckled. Then the door creaked open, as it was loose on its hinges, and wiped the grin off of both of their faces.

Haunted or no, this house had an eerie quality to it. And judging by the pair of muddy boots flung haphazardly in the hall, someone had been here recently. Recently enough that they might not have left yet. The mud was still wet and a drop oozed to the ground.

A/N: I promise, it will get more complex and interesting! Tonks' entry is mean to be different from her usual personality, as people usually reveal the side they are least likely to share when writing personal things like that. I don't know how many chapters I'm planning, but this is definitely not a one shot like my other stories…Tonks/Lupin Romance will develop gradually, and they'll become good friends first. The fic will be mostly focused on them, but I do have some plans about this mission that involve a few other plotlines as well. Review! If you don't like it tell me why (but please try and be polite). The interaction between them will be much better in later chapters when they know each other better…sorry if this piece didn't come off well because of the emotion (or lack thereof). I have to establish this first before I can continue.


	2. Through Children's Eyes

Through Children's Eyes

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters and places belong to J. K. Rowling.

A/N: Reviewers, I love you all! You make my day! Thank you. Also, The Journal Entry doesn't follow the timeline of the story, it is from much earlier, as you'll be able to tell. It might seem kind of random, but it will tie in and I put it there to serve a purpose.

Excerpt from the Journal of Remus Lupin

_I have always thought the world was a very different place from the vantage point of a child. Everything's new and exciting, and they are never afraid to be honest, as so many adults seem to be. Maybe there's more to childhood innocence than one can possibly explain or even comprehend again once it is lost. My lycanthropy effectively robbed me of a childhood, though I recovered a vague semblance of it with Sirius, James and Peter. It is the birth of James's first child that brought me to these musings. A little boy; he looks just like his father, but has Lily's eyes. _

There was an uneasy silence for a moment as Lupin and Tonks both stared at the muddy boots and the full significance hit home. Lupin raised a finger to his lips and walked forward cautiously down the hall. Tonks followed a little way behind, her eyes lingering on the filthy and cobweb streaked walls. Ahead, she heard Lupin comment in a voice barely above a whisper, "That explains the smell."

"What does?"

He lit his wand nonverbally and pointed as something that appeared to be a sickly green color skittered across the wall and onto the floor. "Bundimun. It also explains how muggles could have lived in this house so recently with the horrible state it is in now. Bundimun look like patches of fungus and secrete a foul-smelling substance that causes decay. Usually a simple _'Scourgify!' _do the trick, but this looks like it may be beyond that." Lupin paused, seeming to realize it was starting to sound like a lecture. He turned to look at her and gave a small smile. "Besides, we didn't come here to clean up."

An expression of amusement flickered across Tonks's face. "We could have stayed at Grimmauld Place for that. "

Lupin chuckled. "Indeed."

They had come to the end of the hallway. There was one huge room before them, empty except for a few dilapidated chairs in one corner. From that room there were two doorways, though neither one had a door, one on the left and one on the right. "Do you think we should split up?" Tonks asked.

"I did before I saw those boots. But I won't underestimate a fully-trained Auror. Signal if you see anything suspicious—or _anyone_."

Tonks nodded and took the left doorway, alert but unafraid. He watched her disappear into the shadows, then went the opposite direction. The next room was once a dining room, and would have been elegant had it been kept up. A rusted chandelier hung crookedly above a dusty but fairly sturdy table. The peeling pain from the walls showed hints of burgundy and gold. Broken remnants of fine china remained on display.

But what caught Lupin's eye was the mirror. It was so dusty the reflection hardly showed, but it was huge, taking up most of the top half of one wall, and its frame was delicately carved from silver, now tarnished, into the shapes of serpents. He reached out and began to wipe off some of the dust, but something made him take a step back. It took him a moment to place what it was. Something moved behind the surface of the glass. A white shadow was the description that came to his mind, although it didn't really make sense.

It happened again and the eyes of the serpents along the frame glowed red. The dust just fell away. The frame writhed and the glass shifted, until there was an entrance large enough for Lupin to enter. Just as he was about to walk through, with a small alarm going off in his head about some serious dark magic, he heard Tonks scream. He whirled around in the general direction it had come from, and his balance faltered, half-poised as he was to climb through. Lupin slipped and hit his head against the frame. Sinking to the floor, unconscious, the last thing he saw, in blurred vision, was the passageway sliding closed and the sinister scarlet eyes of the snakes.

Tonks had begun to think the whole mission was a waste of time as she rummaged through the desk of an old office room. There was nothing to indicate _any_ wizard had ever set foot in this house, and certainly no presence of dark magic. She was about to give up on this room when she saw something a little out of place. Underneath the desk she had just been rummaging through, there was a sock. It was clean, which was glaringly obvious against the given background, and she wondered how it had escaped her notice.

That question was answered a moment later, when the toes wiggled and it slipped back out of view. _Somone is hiding under the desk!_ Taking a shaky breath, she built up her resolve to look under it, but screamed at the sudden flurry of movement as the person attempted to push her out of the way and run past. It was more a scream of surprise than the sharp, shrill voice of fear, but it stopped the person in their tracks.

Auror instinct taking over, Tonks grabbed the little girl by her shoulders so she wouldn't escape. Laughing in nervous relief, and gradually letting go as she decided the little girl could not run very far, she asked, "Who are you?"

"My name's Aurore Leclerc," she answered with a soft French accent. Her chestnut hair came just past her shoulders, and she brushed a shorter piece away from her face as she spoke. Hazel eyes swept to the entrance, wide with alarm.

Lupin came running in, grimacing in pain from where he'd hit his head and looking a little disoriented. He blinked slowly at the girl after ascertaining no immediate source of danger and glanced askance at Tonks. "She startled me," came the defensive reply. "She was hiding under the desk and rushed out when I noticed her."

He merely continued to look at Aurore, amber eyes dark with some veiled emotion. Whether it was suspicion or concern, Tonks couldn't tell, and neither emotion showed in his tone. "Why are you here?" Lupin asked, then continued grimly, "This is no place for a little girl."

She didn't look any older than ten or eleven. Chewing on her bottom lip, eyes downcast, she mumbled something. "Didn't quite catch that," Tonks prompted.

"You said it already!" Aurore said, much louder, eyes flashing in anger and fear. Her gaze was fixed firmly on Tonks now, narrowed accusatorily. "I was hiding."

"From…?"

Aurore tried to pout and sulk at Lupin to make him stop asking, but it didn't work. Although he didn't speak again, he crouched so they could see eye to eye. She became less intimidated and decided to share after all.

"My father. He doesn't like that I'm a squib, and when he gets angry…." Aurore stopped, apparently thinking she'd said too much.

"Those aren't your boots in the front hall," Tonks said, tactfully changing the subject. They were men's boots, she had noted earlier. The girl looked very relieved that there was a new topic of conversation.

"No." There was a glint in her eyes for a moment that could have added an implied sarcastic '_really?'_ but it was gone so fast Tonks couldn't be sure. "They're my brother's. I borrowed them. Couldn't find mine."

"What do you do here?" Tonks asked, guessing correctly that the girl came often.

"Read the Muggle fairy tales. The ones that the books still hold together. There's a whole collection in the library." The girl answered happily. She stopped, and tilted her head, a confused expression on her face. "Why are you here?"

Both Lupin and Tonks froze for a second. They couldn't well tell her of the Order. Fighting an inner moral battle about lying to a child, Tonks impulsively said, "We were considering buying the house." She shot a look at Lupin, "Weren't we, _dear?"_

His mouth gaped open for a second, but he managed to school his features and add, "We decided to see how bad the damage was first."

Aurore looked horrified. "You can't! You can't move in! Not when I've finally gotten—oh, where will I go?"

Exchanging a look with Tonks, Lupin did a little guesswork and worded his next question carefully, though directly. "Have you been scaring Muggles away from this house? Trying to keep them from moving in? I've heard they think it's haunted."

No answer came, but it was unnecessary. The guilt on her face said everything. "I see. Well, you won't have to worry about us. I don't think we'll be moving in." Lupin's gaze shifted to Tonks. "Unless you've got your heart set on it?"

"Nah. I don't think I'll be too heartbroken. Let's go." She grabbed his hand and led him out of the room. She didn't want to leave the child, but she couldn't kidnap her either. The girl did have parents, or at least mentioned a father. There were no signs she'd been treated roughly as far as Tonks could tell. _I'll get someone at the ministry to find out where she lives and check into it, anyway, just to be sure. _

Once back in the main hall, they apparated back to the alley just before Grimmauld Place. There was a comfortable silence as they walked back, until Tonks said, "Sorry about that…I couldn't come up with any other excuse."

Lupin smiled. "Doesn't matter. It worked."

Something else was clearly bothering her, but Lupin waited for her to bring it up. "I'm going to send someone from the ministry to make sure she's alright. It's the least I can do. I don't feel right leaving her in a place like that."

"But she feels safe there. Imagine that. To us the world seems so skewed through children's eyes."

Despite herself, Tonks smiled brightly. Her concern eased. "Why, Remus, that was almost poetic."

Later, Mad-Eye found Remus and Sirius cleaning up Grimmauld Place. Tonks had returned to her flat. Finished with the library, the two were debating whether there was a ghoul in the attic. "We can go and look, but I think it can wait until tomorrow," Sirius was saying. He was bored with housework; being confined forced him to do more of it than he would like.

"Remus, how'd the assignment go? Anything unusal about that house or just a bunch of Muggle nonsense?" Mad-Eye inquired.

"Nothing involving any Dark Magic," Lupin assured him, unwilling to relate the whole story about the squib girl.

For a moment, the back of his head gave a small protest of pain, but it subsided. He tried to remember how exactly he had gotten hurt, but it eluded him. All Lupin knew is that it happened when he heard Tonks scream. _Age does terrible things to your memory, _he sighed inwardly. _And head injuries don't help, either. _

"About that ghoul…" Remus turned back to Sirius.

The latter grinned mischieviously, knowing he would hit home with Mad-Eye's paranoia. No doubt the man was wondering if they could even properly dispose of the creature. Well, he wasn't going to miss an opportunity to get out of that one. "Mad-Eye, would you care to show us how it's done?"


	3. Changing Tides

Between the Lines

Disclaimer: I'm just borrowing them. Everything recognizable from the Harry Potter Series belongs to J.K. Rowling.

A/N: Aurore and Briarwood Circle plotline taking the backseat for a moment for Lupin/Tonks. Don't worry, it's not gone, just not a major part of the story right now since Lupin lost his memory of the only reason he should remember it (following me?). But I hope you guys will like this chapter too, as my intention was for the story to be mainly about them.

Tonks gritted her teeth in frustration. Just how much more paperwork was she expected to complete before she was allowed to leave the ministry? It was almost 10:30, and she had been working for most of the day. As soon as she had stood up to leave, she'd been bombarded with a huge assignment and had been told to finish it tonight.

Shifting through the loose rolls of parchment, her eyes scanned them without seeing. She buried her face in her hands and tried to resist the urge to pull at her hair, which was short and pink today. _Alright, just finish this up and then you can leave. _ One more. Time was passing so slowly it seemed, but then again, maybe it was passing quickly… the hour was late. How had it gotten so late? Too late to still be at work, anyway. The tedious task was taking longer and longer as her mind disengaged from the process out of sheer boredom.

Finally finishing the last bit of paperwork, Tonks got up and stretched, almost doing a small dance out of pure thankfulness that she was at last _done._ At first she was going to apparate back to her flat, but she decided to stop by Grimmauld Place first. Her flat would be empty; she'd be alone. And right now, all she wanted was someone to talk to. It didn't matter who.

Everything had been going wrong lately. This latest little development with her job was nothing. Sure, it bothered her, but it was merely the last straw. So many other things had been building up. _Ah, well, time to forget about all that. _

Before she knew exactly where she had envisioned, Tonks ended up in the library of Grimmauld Place. _I guess I'm in the mood to read an old favorite._

But then her eye caught another figure, sitting on the couch at one end of the room. His quiet grace was a strong presence in the room. Apparently, the loud popping noise of her apparation had startled Lupin. He was staring at her in mild shock. "Good evening," he said, after a pause.

"Wotcher."

Lupin's gaze returned to his book, a bit too suddenly, as if he'd realized he had been staring. But when she turned to the shelves and began scanning titles, he became curious. Why did she apparate straight to the library?

Running a finger absently along the spines of the books as she passed, Tonks' hair became a deep shade of violet and her skin darkened in hue. Luminous indigo eyes completed the transformation.

"Where is it?" She muttered to herself. Moving on, and deciding on another title, she plucked a rather heavy volume from the shelves and sat down next to Lupin. Well, not exactly next to him. She was on the other end of the couch, leaning her elbow on one of the arms. Resting so that her chin was in her hand and her knees were bent, her feet on the middle cushion, Tonks attempted to get comfortable.

It wasn't working very well, but she gave up, deciding she didn't care. It must be how stressed out she was, and had nothing to do with the way she was sitting, so there wasn't any point in trying.

"Why did you change?" a soft voice asked, snapping her back to reality.

She had almost forgotten Remus was there. Glancing over at him, she saw that he hadn't looked up from his book. Tonks shrugged. "I didn't really think about it, it just happened. That's been happening a lot lately." She was glad he wasn't looking at her. It gave her a sense of personal space, like he wasn't really demanding an answer, just asking out of curiosity or concern.

The words were becoming harder and harder to focus on. Her eyes kept slipping and everything was becoming blurry. The tear rolled off her nose and onto the book and she let it, making no indication that she even knew it existed. "Remus?" she said in a shaky voice.

His amber eyes locked with her indigo ones and she bit her lip, willing herself to stop crying or finish what she had been about to say, or for Merlin's sake, just _do_ anything, but she couldn't. The sobs were starting to come now, and she closed her eyes against her embarrassment. How could she have let this dam inside her burst in front of him?

Lupin looked distressed, but not at a total loss like most men when it comes to crying women. "Did I offend you by asking? I'm terribly sorry, I didn't mean—"

Tonks's semi-amused and shaky laugh through her tears cut him short. "No." She said it again, firmer this time. "No, it wasn't you. I'm sorry. It's just…"

She couldn't quite bring herself to continue and he moved closer, giving her shoulder a comforting squeeze. It was simply a friendly gesture, meant to soothe her in some small way. He didn't want to make her feel any more vulnerable than she already did. "I'll listen, if you need to talk about this."

Tonks smiled sadly, and the tears were coming slower now. "Thanks. I think I'm just stressed out, or I wouldn't make this big a deal out of it." She took a deep, shuddering breath and dispelled all her doubts. It would do her some good to get this out of her system. "This is going to sound a bit ridiculous, but…I feel like I'm loosing myself. I can't keep my appearance all the time anymore and it's harder and harder to remember or return to my own form. The changes happen so automatically…I'm just influenced by what's around me and I don't change for me."

Lupin knew all too well what it was like to loose yourself. Every month during his transformation he would have little to no control over his actions, but the memories of everything he did would haunt him. When the moon was full he became lost in the senses of the wolf, the instinct to hunt, to bite and scratch.

A vague smile hovered over his lips. He wiped a tear from her cheek. "You have such a strong, vibrant personality, Nymphadora. And I can always see it, no matter what you look like."

She didn't correct him and say 'Tonks'. The sense of ease his words left her with was too much for so trivial a thing to bother her now. Her head came to rest on his shoulder. "Remus, thank you." The words sounded barely more than a whisper.

He held her gently, his arm about her shoulders. "All I said was the truth, but if it brought you any comfort, then I am glad. That's what friends are for."

"Friends," she echoed. It was true, she'd barely known him before that mission on Briarwood Circle last week. But she knew he was a perfect gentleman, she'd gotten that impression the first time she met him. "I'm honored to have you as my friend, Remus."

Lupin tensed. What if she was repulsed when she found out that he was a werewolf? And it would have to be when, not if, because he couldn't endanger her by not letting her know. It would be so hard, though. This was why he never let himself trust others completely. He couldn't get his hopes up for someone to understand and then be crushed when they ran in fear.

Tonks pulled away. "What is it?" She shoved him playfully, her usual demeanor returning now that her burden had been relieved. Her grin faded as he didn't respond. There was a world of distance between them that had not been there a moment ago. Confused, she tried to figure out what he could possibly be thinking.

Subconsciously, he traced on of the scars that ran across his face. It dawned on her. "I already know."

"What?" His amber eyes came back to the present, and regarded her with a mixture of disbelief and wonder.

"About your…lycanthropy," she said carefully.

"How? How long?"

"Since the last full moon."

"And yet you aren't, well, horrified?"

"No," she said. "Why would that change anything?"

He was speechless.

"I see you for who you are, not what you change into." There was a mischievious lilt to her voice as her words vaguely shadowed his earlier statement. "I'm accepting you, not cringing in repulsion as you obviously expect. Why can't you understand that? That's what friends are for."

She knew it sounded a little cheesy, but she hoped the combination of throwing his own words back at him and her tone that demanded attention would get through to him. His eyes met hers and the look in them broke her heart. He definitely had been needing someone to say that, someone that understood the werewolf was a part of him that had to be accepted too, not just ignored.

Lupin was feeling quite vulnerable, his most dreaded secret exposed. But she had confided in him as well, and they had both benefited from it. He managed a small smile, to say that he understood, heard her. But his head was still reeling from the shock and he could not think of any reply.

She yawned, got up, and leaned over to give him a hug. "Goodnight, Remus. Thanks for the chat. I feel a lot better now."

"Anytime," he murmured.

The book he had been reading was next to him, and the cover caught Tonk's attention. "Hey, what do you know? That's the book I was looking for."

Her smile vanished into the darkness as she closed the door behind her. Remus shook his head and laughed softly.

The title: _With the Changing Tides._

A/N: So, what do you think? Review! And interpret the book title however you want.


	4. Fact or Fiction?

Fact or Fiction?

A/N: This fic has a mind of it's own. Or my muse ran away with me, one of the two. Aurore demanded her own scene, which I had not originally planned, but there's more in store for our favorite werewolf and metamorphmagus yet. Thanks everyone for the reviews! By the way, no Remus/Sirius implied on my part. Reviewer Responses at the end.

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Bright fear in her liquid hazel eyes, Aurore ran as fast as she could. She was almost there, her refuge, her haven. The quiet, ancient house provided her with a sense of security. It was abandoned; she could go and disappear into her own little world and no one would disturb her.

It wouldn't matter then whether or not she could perform a simple spell. It wouldn't matter that she didn't have a friend in the world, or that her brother, who was supposed to watch out for her, was leaving her defenseless more and more often. Even if her father only threatened or berated or criticized or laughed at her. Even if it had never truly come to a physical blow, though his anger was a great and terrible thing, she felt every bit as miserable and tortured. She didn't belong, and she knew it, so why didn't they let her go? Every passing day served as a reminder that she was a burden, a failure, or in some way _unclean_ because of a fate sealed at birth. Aurore wished with all her heart she could be a normal witch.

The fairy tales were her escape. They offered a glimpse of a perfect life, noble people, and wonderful adventures. Aurore had never had an adventure worth its while. Not like those beautiful people that came to life on the pages and meant more to her than anyone flesh and blood. Except her brother...and lately, even he was drifting away. He spent more and more of his time in secrecy, claiming he needed his space and she couldn't expect to be a tagalong forever, could she? Alain had been her savior, her hero, whom she could always turn to. But now the hero was falling prey to his own demons, and these were not so easily disposed of as the ones from the books.

It was funny how she turned to magic, when her lack of it seemed to be the source of everything that went wrong in her life. Why would these Muggle misrepresentations fascinate her so? Aurore didn't know. Didn't care. It helped, so did it matter beyond that?

Reaching the front door, chest heaving from the exertion of running as fast as her short legs could carry her, she abandoned any pretense of caution or consideration and tore up the stairs to her precious stories. Letting the book fall open as soon as she had snatched it off the shelf, it opened randomly to _Snow White_.

_Mirror, Mirror on the wall..._

She'd read this one before, but it made no difference. She kept reading. Beauty and the Beast, Jack and the Beanstock, Sleeping Beauty…She like the last one especially. It was so easy to just pretend. Aurore, Aurora…just one little letter of difference, and it was a whole world apart.

Giggling rather loudly in pure delight as two of "Briar Rose's" guardians argued over the color of her dress, that was to be her birthday gift, and colored sparks flew everywhere. In fact, Aurore was so absorbed that for several minutes she failed to notice the odd hissing sounds coming from downstairs.

Not again! This was her private hideout. No one else was allowed. Why would anyone bother with such a run-down place anyway? It was stupid, really, and she was just about to tell them so, too, in that endearingly naïve and direct manner of a child. Closing her book in irritation, she placed it carefully back on the shelf, making sure no pages tore or came loose.

Creeping quietly down the stairs, she covered her ears as the hideous sound intensified. That didn't help, though. The hissing wormed its way through her filtered hearing anyway, to drive her mad. For one horrifying moment she thought her ears where actually bleeding, but then she realized her panicked imagination was running away with her. "Stop!" she was about to scream out loud. All protests died in her throat, however, at the sight that greeted her when she reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Well, well, what have we here?" issued a tall, middle aged man with long platinum hair. His expression was severe and cold, but a wicked mirth gleamed behind his eyes. She couldn't stand to look at that, which to her simply reeked of sheer evil. How simple right and wrong, good and evil were to someone who had no real experience of either.

"No one you'd care about."

"I'll be the judge of that," the man replied coolly.

"You're trespassing."

"You think you own this place, you filthy little squib?"

She chose to ignore the comment. It was almost a habit, from all her practice. Everything she didn't want to hear just slid in one ear and out the other without processing. It was so easy, in fact, that she didn't even stop to think how he could have known that. "What's the hissing?"

He smiled, a gesture surprisingly devoid of any real emotion. "Why don't you come take a look…" And he pointed to the mirror hanging on the wall, the red eyes of the twin snakes alight and glowing as if with malicious intention. They moved in an eerily accurate fashion, slithering around the frame as the glass tilted back. The entrance of a tunnel appeared in the shadowy darkness beyond.

"Now, your interference is really beginning to put me behind schedule…and the Dark Lord bears no excuses."

_A servant of You-Know-Who? Here! _Aurore wheeled about in horror, finally tearing her eyes from the mirror just in time to see the tall, hooded figure remove his wand from the staff he had been carrying. His merciless blue eyes bored into her without pity, a disgusted sneer prominent over the rest of his features. Transfixed by fear, the girl could not bring herself to move, even as the wand was aimed straight for her heart.

In her desperation, one soothing thought reached her. There was no need to be afraid. It was magic, a spell. All that would happen, she told herself, knowing it was a lie but not believing it any less for that fact, is that she would fall into a deep sleep, to be awoken by true love's first kiss. The fear vanished, and it became easier now. In her short life she had learned how to cope. _Let the monster do what he will; this is your fairy tale come true._

_

* * *

_

It was still dark when Lupin opened his eyes. It was somewhere in the early hours of the morning. The moon hadn't even set yet, his sleep-hampered mind registered with dismay. In only twelve hours or so, it would be the full moon. But tonight was going to be even worse than usual. Tonight… Lupin sighed heavily and tossed and turned, to no avail. He didn't even want to think about it. Right now, all he wanted to do was to go back to sleep and forget. But no matter how tired he was, any chance of sleep was gone for the present moment.

Quietly making his way out of his room, he glanced back at the clock. **4:32** glowed in bright letters. It was very unlikely he would encounter anyone else. Lupin didn't feel he'd be the best company now anyway. He paused as he passed Sirius's room, just to be sure he was still sleeping. The soft snores detected by his heightened sense of hearing assured Lupin that was the case. He smiled wryly. What else had he expected?

A sudden wave of nostalgia overtook him. Sirius was the last tie Lupin had to happier days back at Hogwarts. The havoc the four of them had wreaked…it was a thing of the past. _Look how we've changed._

The years in Azkaban had changed Sirius. Not broken him, for his spirit was still as strong as ever. But there were subtle things, a glimpse of the gaunt, haggard face, returned for an unexpected instant before slipping away into Sirius's humorous demeanor. Years with those horrid "gaurds" that drained a person of every last hopeful and happy thought would leave a lasting impression on anyone.

In fact, Lupin thought Sirius had nearly moved on, now that Harry had come into his life. Harry, whom Sirius seemed to think was James resurrected. If that was what Padfoot required to heal, he would not interfere. Neither would he encourage. It was dangerous, to lie to yourself that way. Harry was not his father.

He could not help thinking that a few of Lily's traits had been bestowed to the boy as well. It wasn't just her eyes, though it had been quite painful for Lupin to look into Harry's emerald gaze the first time on the Hogwarts express. It was so many other little things. _I can hear Voldemort murdering my parents._

Lupin tried to steer his thoughts away. The lapses into self-pity frequently seemed to occur in correspondence with the full moon. In that one night he had lost so much. Lily and James, both gone, both dead. Thinking Sirius responsible for years beyond count, when all along it had been Peter.

Peter, still alive, but swayed to Voldemort's side. Lupin couldn't deny what had happened. Peter had betrayed their trust and sold their secrets. For what cost? To live, but in constant regret? Or were there no regrets? Lupin liked to think, for the sake of the childhood friend he had known, that Peter was trapped. Manipulated into the betrayal and trapped now, for one does not defy Voldemort once swearing service to him and expect to live.

The peaceful quiet of the morning had the patience for this debate, though Lupin was praying for some sort of distraction. Where was that hopelessly blurred line between fact and fiction, if it was even possible to be found? He'd been living with lies and half-truths, wishful thinking, dreams. It was all a jumbled mess of feelings and memories that his mind became determined to sort out once and for all every time he was left alone with these thoughts.

A flutter of movement in his peripheral vision gave him sufficient excuse to push away all the unwanted memories. A blissful, burden-free moment of content descended upon him. Picking up the pace but still treading lightly to not disturb others' slumber, Lupin attempted to discern with whom else he shared the gentle tranquility of pre-dawn.

A crashing noise and muffled curse provided him with a fair guess. "Nymphadora?"

"Tonks!" came the loud whisper from the other end of the hallway. He smiled but did not make the correction.

"I thought it might be you," Lupin murmured, more to himself than to her. "Though I can't imagine what you're doing up at this time."

"Couldn't sleep." Her hair was short, spiky and pink, as he had seen it before. It was the most recurring appearance she presented. Her pyjamas were a deep burgundy and pink, that went surprisingly well. The shade didn't clash.

Tonks' eyelids were heavy with sleepiness, and she stretched, yawning widely. He suddenly felt awkward in her presence. The last time he had seen her, she had been so vulnerable, revealing one of her deepest insecurities to him. Now, their next encounter, he was feeling rather vulnerable.

She must have noticed his tension under that careful guardedness, because she inquired with a lazily raised eyebrow, "Are you alright?" Her eyes quickly shifted to one of the windows and a heart gave a small pang as he knew her pale blue gaze sought the moon.

"I will b—"

"Now you give me a straight answer, Remus," she said sternly, her tone belied by an impish smile.

"Let me make some tea," he offered. "We'll be less likely to wake anyone if we continue our conversation in the kitchen."

Tonks narrowed her eyes as if suspecting a ruse to continue evading a proper response, but agreed and followed him down the stairs. She wasn't much of a morning person, but once she had woken up fully she was alright. The first glimmerings of false dawn gave the stairway a subtle glow as they descended it. A glow she might have thought eerie if she was alone, she mused, but found curiously soothing with Lupin's presence.

She sat in silence at the table as he made the tea, waiting for him to decide when he would share. Subconsciously, she began a habitual motion of her leg, an impatient tap, tap, tap of her foot against the floor that had formed in her school days. Long hours, sitting all day, with her attention wandering and her restless energy pent up.

The tea kettle had barely begun to whistle when Lupin snatched it off the stove. He was silent for a moment, well, even more silent than he had been, perhaps even holding his breath. He turned one ear towards the door. Apparently satisfied, Lupin poured the tea. Just when Tonks had given up on a response, he stated very directly, in a low, flat voice, "There's an eclipse tonight."

She frowned. The words that came to her sounded as clumsy as she was on her feet. "What…What does that mean, for you?"

An odd, twisted smile settled on his lips. There was a frightening bitterness behind it. "Though I will not transform during it, the duration of the eclipse is the hardest part. The wolf is still there, lurking beneath the surface and trying to fight its way out. It is merely left without that option. I must fight the wolf's instincts while still in my own body."

"The potion…?"

His voice was grim. "The effects of the eclipse will practically override it."

"Is there anything I—"

"Don't stay here tonight. It's not safe for anyone."

"Remus, you don't scare me." He searched her eyes for a moment, as if testing the truth of her words. The shining blue orbs held no flicker of dishonesty, no waver of doubt. He bit his lip and looked away. Those simple words had broken past barriers of self defense long ago constructed to keep people from getting to close. If they got to close, if he cared too much, he would be that much more devastated if he hurt them, or they harbored some racist sentiments that they could not purge despite his kindness and caring.

He swallowed hard.

She smiled then, as she rose, and the radiant warmth of it touched him. Lupin expected her to leave, despite her words. What could she possibly see in him, more than ten years older than her and…

And she didn't leave. "It'll still be awhile before the sun rises. I don't know about you but I'm not any sleepier than I was." Tonks regarded him thoughtfully. "You wouldn't…happen to know how to play cards, would you?"

Lupin chuckled briefly, brushing the hair from his eyes. There was amusement sparkling in his amber eyes and his tension had evaporated instantaneously. "Yes. My mother was muggle-born." Her eyes lit and she rushed to get a deck of cards. He couldn't help but notice that she didn't trip once despite her careless haste. "What do you want to play?" he asked when she had returned.

"Hmm…how about Egyptian Ratscrew?"

He raised an eyebrow, but otherwise his expression remained blank. "I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that one."

She grinned evilly. "I suppose I'll just have to teach it to you then."

* * *

A/N: I don't know what year OotP is supposed to take place in, therefore I don't know if there was actually an eclipse in the fall. Bear with me, it's creative lisence. Longer chapter that time, hope you all enjoyed it. Don't forget to review! It motivates me. See the small purple button in the corner? hint hint

Reviewer Responses:

**DuckGoddess: **Thank you, hope you like the developments since the first chapter! I think you were my very first reviewer for this story :D. And I'm glad you thought Chapter 3 was sweet. I was hoping to convey that without being too cheesy.

**slightly so: **I plan to continue; thanks so much for the encouragement!

**Santiva Potter: **Glad you are interested. Hopefully you will continue to read and like the story.

**Fleep:**I can't stay away from Lupin/Tonks either! I know there are some really great fics out there and only hope I can measure up in some small way.

**Alli-Baby: **I want to write and see their relationship grow, because so many fics start off where they're already in love or their just realizing it, but not many (at least that I've read) tell how they get to know each other. Thank you so much for your continued reviews, I really appreciate it! You have no idea how much it means when someone says they love the fic!

**TrinityDD: **Lupin'll be okay. I don't want anything bad to happen to him either. hugs him and doesn't let go Thanks for reviewing, you've really helped encourage me to update faster.

**SammyBlack80:** You're a little closer to discovering what is really in the house. What do you think of Aurore so far?

**Radiant: **I want to be able to explore how they get to know each other any why they are so perfect together. I read so many fics where they're already in love that I finally decided to take it into my own hands and see if I could portray the beginnings of their relationship. I'm so happy other people like this idea too.

**Snail-sama: **:D right back atcha

**Lilactorgirl:**Well, that was part of Aurore's story, more to come. Hope you liked it, even if it wasn't what you were expecting.

**Elf771:** I do to, there's a different feel to those friendship moments that are just as moving and even more so sometimes…lol that did sound a little like Luna. Hope you'll continue to read!

It's rather late…forgive me if I forgot anyone because I truly appreciate each and every review!


	5. Between the Lines

Between the Lines

A/N: I am so sorry for the wait. Family stuff came up and I haven't had computer access…it's likely to be like that on and off for awhile. It'll affect the speed of the updates but not my will to continue the story, never fear. Thanks for reading!

* * *

Entering a tiny shop tucked away in one of the many corners of Hogsmade, Tonks made her way to the back of the store, looking half-heartedly at the glass bottles that lined the shelves filled with every type of potion imaginable. The inconspicuous disguise of an elderly lady with graying hair she sometime wore on Order business was the face she chose to present. Her eyes weren't entirely in focus; she was more attuned with her ears, listening intently to the conversation the shop owner was having with a client.

"Leopold, your usual order's in the back. I'll be right out with it." A tall witch with curly, dirty blonde hair was saying. Her amethyst robes brought out the color of her eyes and lent her an air of quiet splendor similar to the one which hovered in the entire shop. A crease between her eyebrows expressed her concentration as she began adding ingredients to the brewing potion in the cauldron before her.

The man she had called Leopold, who had close-cropped dark brown hair, and was dressed in a black traveling cloak and dark green robes, replied, "I'd like to add something to the usual order, Irena."

"Oh? And what might that be?"

"Veritaserum," came the terse reply.

The shopkeeper looked startled. Violet eyes narrowed slightly, though her suspicion was checked to a minimum. "What need have you for that at St. Mungo's?" The inquiry was innocent enough but deftly addressed her concerns.

Leopold sighed. "I don't know the details. I've hardly even seen the patient it's for, but apparently the child is in bad shape, and cannot recollect anything of what occurred."

"It's not really my place to question," Irena began, with a look on her face that stated she was going to ask anyway, "But why Veritaserum? Why not use a Leglimens? Or undo the memory charm, if that is the reason for the loss? Surely either way would work better for a memory problem. Veritaserum takes quite an effort to make, you know…"

"I understand. But the Healers who look after her have removed the memory charm efficiently enough, the patient simply won't talk. A few infeasible stories, but they don't explain the extent of the injuries." Leopold leaned closer and spoke in a hushed tone, as if only just realizing that there was another person in the shop.

Tonks had to strain to catch the last bit, but she managed it. The reason why she was listening was not immediately obvious to her; she wasn't one to eavesdrop, but the first sight of this man in the shop brought out something of her auror instinct. Though nothing about him screamed 'suspicious' to her. From what she could tell he was only a healer sent to pick up some potions for St. Mungo's. But Tonks couldn't shake the feeling that something significant was occurring. She couldn't bring herself to push aside the growing idea that there might be information of value hidden somewhere in the conversation.

"And, as you well know, Leglimens' skills have been in very high demand lately. There aren't any left at the hospital who aren't occupied with more pressing matters." The woman's lips were drawn in a thin, tight line. Leopold carried on as emphatically as he could in whispered tones, "I truly believe if we find out the cause of injury, the patient will heal much faster. As hard as it might be to face what has happened, denial is no way to move on and begin the healing process."

The shopkeeper was silent for a moment, absorbing what she had been told. Then, with a solemn face graced by a sad smile, Irena disappeared into the back room. When she re-emerged, she was holding a crate filled with many vials and bottles of medical potions, from Skele-grow, to pain potions, to a very small container filled with a clear, seemingly unremarkable liquid that nonetheless had very great power. Veritaserum. "My best wishes for the patients recoveries, as always. Forgive me, Leo, one can't be too careful these days."

Leopold nodded his thanks, dark eyes sparkling with warmth. "I understand." Making a gesture indicating the crate in his hands, "Thank you. 'Til next time, Irena." Then he was gone, the door creaking closed behind him.

Still appearing vaguely unsettled, Irena turned to Tonks and asked, "How may I help you?"

The gray hair shimmered for a moment, the melted into a bright bubble gum pink, and Tonks transformed to her favorite look. Irena's eyes widened, and she sputtered, "T-Tonks!" After adjusting to the mild shock, the shopkeeper made her way around the counter and asked, "How have you been?" before enveloping the other in a hug.

Irena Kendall and Nymphadora Tonks had been friends since their days at Hogwarts. Close as they had been, they hadn't seen each other recently due to everything that had been going on, from the war to their jobs, to everything inbetween. "Well enough. Busy with ministry work, though."

"Don't give me 'well enough', Tonks!" Irena chided, her curls bouncing. "Your face is absolutely shining."

Tonks couldn't stop the grin that spread over her features. "Really?" She shrugged. It wouldn't do to say too much about the Order, even to her trusted friend. And there was nothing else major going on in her life right now. Maybe what Irena saw was a remnant of the strong feeling Tonks had been experiencing lately that she was doing the right thing in joining the Order. Or the joy in knowing that others believed her cousin innocent, as she had all along.

Either way, it wasn't something that could be spoken of.

Irena rolled her eyes. "Fine. Don't tell me."

"What? There's nothing to tell!"

"You're sure you haven't…met somebody?" Irena suggested slyly.

Tonks' jaw dropped. "No!" she protested, a little too vehemently.

"Hmph," the blonde witch murmured disagreeably. "Have it your way."

"Irena, really!"

"Well, then what is it?"

Maybe it was all the stress she let go early this morning during the card game. Without noticing, Tonks smiled at the memory. She was so comfortable with Lupin. There was nothing that made her feel like she had change or hide behind her disguises when she was with him. It had been the easiest thing in the world, to let all her troubles evaporate as she attempted to teach him the game.

Irena took this reaction as evidence in her favor and gave a triumphant chuckle. "You know what, you don't even have to tell me. I'm just going to—" She possessed an artful mastery of pauses in speech. "—read between the lines."

"What is that supposed to—" Tonks never finished her sentence. A tawny owl flew through an open window and neatly deposited a letter into her hand. The owl was not familiar, and she stared at the letter for a moment before reading it.

_Tonks,_

_I looked into the girl's situation, the squib that you inquired after. There has been nothing in her records that could indicate mistreatment. I say 'has been' because I am afraid it has changed very recently. The girl is currently hospitalized and near death, though she appears to be recovering. Thus far, no evidence points this unfortunate occurence in the direction of your concern, namely, the girl's father. However, you may have been the last person to see her before this ordeal. Perhaps if you went to go talk to her, you could help both her and yourself. I'm sorry I couldn't do more. _

_Stelian Gregorwicz_

"I have to go. I'm so sorry, Irena, I'll drop by again soon. Actually, before I leave…I was going to ask…the reason I came…"

"Aside from coming to visit me," Irena interjected.

Tonks smiled in spite of herself. "I was going to ask you about the wolfsbane potion."

Irena's eyes flew wide. "Not for me," she added quickly. "I haven't neglected to tell you that much! I was just curious."

"I'm not buying it this time either. Sit down and tell me what's going on, from the beginning."

With an impatient glance toward the door, the pink-haired witch gave a resigned sigh and nodded. She owed her friend that much. Besides, even if her conscious mind refused to acknowledge it, Tonks had come because she needed to talk, and knew she would find a sympathetic ear in Irena.

* * *

Lupin's features were lined with weariness. The semblance of calm detachment became increasingly harder to uphold with every passing hour. Every little thing was driving him mad. The persistent tick, tick, ticking of the clock, the brightness of the lights, the smell of human flesh nearby, it all pressed against his senses unbearably in their acute awareness. 

The clenched jaw must have given him away. "Relax, Remus," Sirius advised.

"I wish I could." There was silence for a moment. "You shouldn't be here. There's no sense in risking it."

Sirius stood, his dark hair falling in his eyes. "Where am I supposed to go, Moony? In case you've forgotten, I'm under strict orders not to set foot outside this house."

Lupin closed his eyes briefly to keep calm and force down the ferocity of emotion the wolf was bringing to the surface. Sirius wasn't done. "I know you take upon yourself even more of a burden than you have to every full moon with this whole guilt trap you build for yourself, but I've been here for you since we were kids, and I'm not about to let you push me away, even if I could leave. " The dark haired man grinned. "So I'm afraid you're stuck with me."

The doorbell rang. The two exchanged a puzzled glance. The night of the last full moon, no one came to Grimmauld Place. During the day, they came only if it was unavoidable. Some for Lupin's sake, others out of fear or contempt, but it had been the first such occasion since Grimmauld Place became the established headquarters of the Order, and Lupin expected it was a pattern that would continue to occur.

But Bill must have forgotten, because he came in a few seconds later, tiptoeing to avoid awakening the portrait into a fit of screaming. "Fred and George here yet?"

"No…" Sirius replied slowly. Though he had yet to meet the twins, he knew of them. He had not, however, known they were coming.

Bill shrugged. "They were supposed to come by soon." The fang earing flashed in the light and caught Lupin's attention, drawing a wry smile.

"How soon is soon?" The amber-eyed wizard inquired without his usual mildness. There was the faintest trace of irritability in his voice, though it was quickly masked.

"Not sure, that's why I stopped by." Realization dawned on the younger man of why exactly no one else was there. His eyes flickered uneasily to Lupin, but he tried to continue in the same laid-back manner he had started. "But they'll be here within a few days at the latest, and soon after, Ron and Hermione as well."

The awkward moment was broken by the sound of someone apparating in to the room. Lupin gripped the edge of the table, his knuckles turning white. Now he couldn't hurt them, no, but soon. They should leave, for their safety.

He looked up to see that Tonks had joined them. Bill was eyeing her appreciatively. Lupin couldn't suppress the horrible feelings that seized him at that sight. He couldn't even put a name to most of them, he just knew that she deserved better, deserved to be seen for the wonderful person she was.

_Bill can't look at her like that. He has no right! _The wolf snarled inside him. _She's mine…_

_No! _Lupin cried frantically, silently. He was cringing at the wolf's possessive tone. _Not you either… _

Unaware of the silent battle raging, Tonks spoke rapidly and urgently, "Remus, there must have been something we overlooked in that house, or else…well I'd rather not think that, but… Aurore's at St. Mungo's!"

All the color drained from Lupin's face and he let out a hoarse cough. Tentatively touching the back of his head, he said in mild shock, so low that no one else could hear him, "The mirror."

Several anxious and confused faces were awaiting a more audible answer.

* * *

A/N: Sorry if it seems rushed. And hopefully that isn't too evil of a cliffhanger. :grin: Today was my birthday and I had to write this in spare bits of time, but I wanted to get you guys an update. But hopefully the next chapter I'll be able to spend more time on, and it will feature lots of Lupin. :D The eclipse is coming… 

Reviewer Responses:

Alli-Baby: Thanks! I hope you enjoyed this one, though I don't think it was as good as the last.

Snail-sama: Thank you for the encouragement!

Duck Goddess: They're closer now, but remember this is only early OotP! I'm hoping to keep this story going for the approximate two years up to HBP…:clamps hand over mouth to keep from saying too much: Aww, thanks, though I think "perfect" is too strong a word for my writing.

PhoenixLament611: Thanks for the feedback…I'm glad to know you like both my own crazy subplot and the Lupin/Tonks. I was unsure if I would be able to balance that right.

Alicamj: Yay! It's fun. Thanks for reviewing!


	6. A Passing Shadow

Among the Stars

A/N: No, I did not forget where I left off, and the cliffhanger will be addressed in this chapter…:grin: you're just going to have to …piece it together a little.

* * *

Breathing in the putrid stench that he had long since become accustomed to, Lupin swallowed the Wolfsbane Potion, the last of it he would take before the moonrise. The liquid nauseated him the instant it entered his bloodstream, and it was all too easy to pinpoint that instant. He collapsed to a kneeling position, with one hand to the floor, supporting him. A dreadful tensing of his muscles confirmed what he already knew. It was time.

Lifting his eyes to the pale, gleaming orb, the image became reflected in Lupin's glassy gaze. The faintest whisper of a shadow clung to the edge of the Moon, but the frail substanceless thing held more ominous threat than anything he could feel or smell or taste, anything real and close enough, anything he could break. The hand still pressed to the floor began to curl into a fist, fingernails (_claws?)_ scraping the wood with a sickening screech.

He clenched his teeth against the pain and thought his jaw would break. Not just break. Shatter. But that would be okay, because his body was broken anyway. A network of scars traced his entire frame, each one a reminder of sacrifice and discipline and restraint. If the potion was not enough, and he still could not stop the instincts, the brutal, animal instincts, then he took out his vicious hunt upon himself. Every last fiber of his being hoped that sacrifice was enough. It was nothing compared to what guilt and burden he would feel if his condition harmed or killed another. Or...sentenced them with the same ill fate.

The thoughts could never be borne long, but when they did manage to surface his conciousness, Lupin could not decide which would be worse: If he killed or merely bit another and inflicted them.

He knew others were here, against his wishes. Fear for them flared to life, but also a deeper, subtler emotion. It was not so intense, but at the same time it was almost more overwhelming. The shame and embarasment flooded him even as he was beginning to lose all ability to concieve what those emotions meant.

The shadow slid, slowly, imperceptibly, concealing another miniscule fraction of the moon in its smoothly gliding arc. Lupin bit his lip and felt the blood trickle down his chin. It had only just begun; surely it could not be so bad yet.

She was here, the wolf could smell her and would abide no dissuasion from pure observant truth. Beyond even forming a coherent shout, he let loose a cry of pain. Whether it stemmed more from the physical or emotional pain, Lupin could not tell.

A sudden brightness passed before his eyes, flashing twice and blinding him. His mind felt like it was working in slow motion.

"…_my memory. I must have forgotten, the fall did something to my memory. I must have…"_

His mind was stuck, echoing the same phrase like a broken record, replaying the same moment again and again. Then, as if finally bursting free it sped ahead, too quickly for words or anything but a fleeting impression.

_The whole story. All I could remember. All I had forgotten. Snakes and mirrors and secret passageways. Too late to visit the hospital now, Tonks. Too late for me. And you've got duty. Watch duty for Harry. Constant… _

_Your beautiful face fell. I could do nothing. Not for you. Bill could. He took your watch. He offered. And you declined. Why? Don't let me burden you too. Go ahead. Just leave me behind. I'm sure I couldn't help anyway. My fault. Danger. My fault. There's dark magic after all... Something there. _

Lupin writhed in pain and fell to his back on the floor. His eyes were open, but unseeing. He was lost in the pain and the memories. This time they were not full speed or slow motion or backwards or repeating.

"_Sure did leave awfully quick, didn't she?" Sirius asked, watching Tonks follow Bill._

"_I tend to have that effect on people once they find out that I turn into a monster once a month."_

"_So does half the population."_

"_I'm being serious."_

"_That's my job." _

_Exhausted and ill as he was, Lupin shoved his friend's arm playfully. "Will there ever be a day that everything is not a joke to you?" _

"_Haven't you heard the expression 'Let sleeping dogs lie?' " This time it was only half jest. It was Sirius's way of dealing with things, moving through each day. Yes, there were times when he was not laughing, and his anger got the better of him, but his sense of humor kept him on his feet. There was a long pause. "She doesn't care, Moony. That's not what's bothering her." _

_Lupin shrugged noncommittally, but was too drained to even attempt a smile. _

"_Am I going to have to start doing my own homework to find out what's going on here?" Sirius's eyes flickered from the door to Lupin and back again. _

"_Assignment number 1: learn to listen carefully. I told you all everything just a few moments ago."_

_A huge grin. "So you did. Told me all I need to know." _

_Lupin had an unsettling suspicion that they were having two very different conversations. _

She was here, and the wolf was not content with being locked in a room. Or locked inside a human body, for that matter. He could hear her voice, and Sirius's.

The shadow swept a little further. Eight minutes had passed. Only one hour remaining. One hour until the fight would be over. He would transform under the full, unshadowed moon, and the potion would be effective after the eclipse had passed.

All he had to do was keep the wolf under control for one agonizing hour.

* * *

Siruis knew she'd be back before she did. Having no Order assignments to keep him busy, he had plenty of time to notice changes in his friends' behavior. Especially those as close as Lupin and Tonks. There was something about how easily they spoke to each other, how much time they'd been spending together, even though they had only recently met. Sirius couldn't yet be sure if it was anything more than friendship, but the thought had crossed his mind. And he found it didn't displease him.

In fact, he found the notion rather amusing and touching. But regardless of the presence (or possibly lack thereof) of any romantic inclination in their relationship, Sirius felt that Lupin and Tonks would be able to help each other. Merlin knew Lupin needed to allow himself a little more fun.

It came as no surprise when his cousin walked into the family room of the old Black house. Sirius couldn't resist provoking her in his typical, none-to-subtle manner. He decided to go for the "state the obvious" approach. "Thought you declined Bill on that offer to take over your watch."

"I did. But I told Bill as soon as we were out of earshot that I'd changed my mind. Only so Remus wouldn't know. He told me not to come."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?"

"I don't know why I'm here."

"Oh, I could take a wild guess."

Tonks glared at her cousin, eyes like ice. "Leaping to conclusions, are you?"

Sirius abruptly changed topics…and tactics. "You know, he doesn't want your pity."

"I don't…!" Tonks started indignantly, then tried again in a softer tone, "It's not pity, exactly." It was, on some level, but it was more complex than that. The feeling was too elusive and fragile to name, or to look at. A bubble on the verge of bursting if one just glanced at it askance. Sirius caught the turbulent jumble of emotions passing over her face and smirked triumphantly. _Well, whatever it is, Tonks, I think you might be the only one who can help him. _

The vanishing moonlight danced across the room, making eerie shadows. They dropped the present conversation, neither willing to venture forth from there. The moon would be gone soon and only darkness would be visible among the stars.

Sirius couldn't suppress a shudder at the faces that came surfacing in his mind as he recognized some of the stars and constellations. "Just being in this house again…" His face contorted in disgust. "Your mother was the only one I wasn't ashamed to call family."

Tonks exaggeratedly coughed and tapped her foot, feigning impatience. He rolled his eyes. "And you, of course." She took a mock bow, as if to say 'thank you'.

Her pink hair looked lavender in the half-light. "As much as I hate my name, I'm thankful my mother didn't continue the tradition of star names. No offense, Sirius."

"None taken. I try not to let it remind me of my connection to them…" He tried to think more of how it suited him, because it was the name of the dog star. But others in his family embodied their namesakes in a different sense. Bellatrix, for one. Unreachable, her bright fire so far away it was cold, but still entrancing to the point it could consume til all that was left was ashes.

There was a loud thump from the upper level. Tonks and Sirius looked at each other in alarm, each knowing the other was thinking the same thing. Lupin was the only other one currently at Grimmauld Place…

Sirius made a mad dash for the stairs, and Tonks was not far behind. In their haste, they scarcely noticed that Kreacher was also attempting to ascend the staircase and the dark haired wizard fell flat on his face. Tonks didn't have much time to put on the breaks and her balance was beyond recovery. She toppled next in an ungraceful heap.

"Foul beasts in this house. Dangerous, vicious, foul beasts. She wouldn't like this at all, and Kreacher can do nothing. He has been _ordered_ by the filthy traitor he must call master to stay away. He will never be master. He shames his mother, his whole family, this house!" The house elf was muttering non-stop.

Torn between murderous rage and relief, Sirius let out a sharp, barking laugh. It had only been Kreacher trying to disobey orders. There was nothing to worry about. Lupin managed transformations every month, and though this one would be a little more difficult for the next 50 minutes, it was ridiculous to jump at every little thing.

Kreacher, lost in his own delusions of the way things should be, took advantage of the momentary confusion to grab Sirius's wand. Oh, if he couldn't find some way to rid the House of Black of these unwanted intruders. He was willing to risk anything. The wizards and witches that waltzed in and out as if they owned the place were plotting against everything the Black family had worked for. Oh, no, they would not be staying long if Kreacher had anything to say about it.

"Alohamora!" Kreacher cried, with desperation born of a twisted mind. A wicked gleam in the house-elf's eyes spoke of the pure hatred harbored and nursed for many years. Retaining a single-minded focus to his plan even amid the joy of his apparent success, Kreacher vanished. He was still in the house somewhere, because he was not allowed to leave. But the house-elf's self-assigned mission was accomplished.

The door swung open, Lupin still clutching the lock the wolf had been struggling to open. His amber eyes flashed with a feral, predatory brutality. Tonks couldn't even tell if he knew her. There wasn't the slightest hint of recognition. The full significance of Lupin referring to "the wolf" as a separate being registered in that instant. He was there somewhere, but he was not in control. The most frightening part was that he still looked like Lupin.

It pained Sirius to see his friend so fierce and aggressive and everything that defied his true self. He had witnessed many violent full moons at the Shrieking Shack, but always this predator was a wolf, it belonged to a different body. Now the lines were blurred; just how separate were Lupin and the wolf? Or were they even separate at all? Sirius hated himself for the moment of doubt but could not stop the thoughts.

Lupin coughed and clenched his jaw as tightly as he could manage. _To prevent himself from growling, _Tonks thought in a sudden wave of insight, overwhelmed by awe. This was the same man who insisted on calling her Nymphadora, whom she had played cards with this very morning when she couldn't sleep. And now this same man was eyeing her as the wolf's prey, no mercy in that relentless urge to hunt.

For one terrifying, endless moment, no one moved.

Then everything happened at once.

* * *

A/N: Don't kill me for this latest cliffhanger! I know it's a bit worse than the last one…but this was where my muse demanded the chapter be stopped.

Well? Are you liking this turn of events? And the possible dynamic it holds for Lupin and Tonks? Review, Review! I promise it helps get chapters up faster.

**Alli-Baby:**I hope your imagination can take a little more running…I hope the suspense is adding to the story and not merely being frustrating. Let me know, okay? Thanks as always for sticking with the story!

**Emma Noble: **More action! Still liking it? Thank you for the compliment, it always makes my day to know someone is actually enjoying something I wrote.

**Duck Goddess:**Oh, yes, Lupin and Tonks will have a few things to work through. I definitely plan to include all major instances in the books that would affect them (i.e., the battle and Sirius's death for OotP, the Werewolf assignment for HBP, etc). Two years is a while to work with, and they have their ups and downs just like everyone else. And as much as I want to yell at Remus for pushing her away, he wouldn't be Remus if he didn't have that kind of consideration for her safety above his own happiness.

**Loziret:** Thank you! It's always nice to hear 'original' because that's one of the hardest things to do (especially in fanfiction). I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much!

**elfgirl/Manveri: **I appreciate your feedback very, very much. I'm glad you think I have the characters right. I just love Lupin and Tonks so much I empathize with them and feel like I understand their reasoning and motives. But of course everyone has slightly different interpretations and views, so thanks for the compliment (I swear I'm practically dancing around the house after I read reviews). And you will not believe how happy I am that you commented about not "nit-picking and over-detailing" because I was worried about being too terse. I'm actually a very quiet person, so sometimes that carries over to my writing and I'm afraid I don't fully convey what I want to sometimes. Your review made me feel a lot better about that :D.

I love you all! Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	7. Lone Wolf

Lone Wolf

A/N: Sorry! I really didn't mean to leave you guys hanging that long. I haven't had much internet access (family stuff again…grr…waiting for this all to get settled out); I thought I would be able to post this the day after I posted the first one. So, here it is now. And I might or might not be able to post again for a little while, but it'll give me time to think of lots of good ideas!

* * *

Sirius moved first. Indecision had frozen him. Would transforming truly be of any benefit? The wolf and the dog were fairly evenly matched. In his dog form he had tackled the wolf before, kept it at bay, but his claws and fangs would more easily harm the human Lupin. He could not bear to hurt his friend, even if Moony was not himself. 

He decided against transforming and attempted to restrain the other. It was a noble effort, but unsuccessful. Sirius cried out amid the chaos, "Tonks, now would be a good time to leave."

"No! Sirius, I can take care of myself." It seemed that no one wanted to believe that was true. Her youth and clumsy manner didn't exactly reek of auror material, but Tonks had guts and could keep her wits about her in a crisis. Those qualities had been tested and proven on several occasions. Why did everyone still treat her like a little girl?

Tonks bolted, but not to leave. The movement attracted Lupin, who tore after her. Sirius was just about to follow them when Buckbeak gave a terrified cry. Hooves danced in panic and shook the ceiling above Sirius's head. _Animals have an uncanny way of sensing when something is wrong. The poor creature might just collapse the ceiling if I don't go calm him down._ A nagging remnant of guilt plaguing him for leaving Tonks to fend for herself, Sirius ascended the stairs rather than descending them.

Meanwhile, the peacefulness of the starlit kitchen was abruptly broken at Tonks skidded in, moving so fast she hung on to one edge of the doorway and used the momentum to make a rapid, drastic change in direction. Trying to put on the brakes, she ended up practically somersaulting over the table so that it was between her and Lupin. His eyes pinned her with a shocking intensity. The ruthless gleam looked so strange and out-of-place.

They stared each other down for a few moments. Her pale blue eyes shone softly, full of determination and holding no trace of fear. Finally, Tonks, never breaking eye contact, moved to the edge of the table on her side and kicked open one of the cupboards with her foot. Another well-aimed kick sent all the pots and pans within sprawling with a deafening clatter to the tile floor. He snarled and, believing her distracted, lunged.

A quarter of the moon was now shadowed, but the silvery light that remained uncovered hit him square in the eyes as he leapt. The aggressiveness quailed and fear was clearly etched in every line of his face. The wolf's control lessened as fear of the moon's presence chased it away. Shimmering brightly, tears of regret stung at his eyes, though not a singe one slid down. The glimpse of _Remus_, whom she knew she had seen in that instant, tugged at Tonks's heart. _He's there, somewhere, helplessly watching himself do these things that he must live with later. _

In the moment of lucidity he attempted to stop his attack; he ended up cutting the leap short, tripping over the pots and pans and then proceeding to fall backwards. It was the perfect opportunity for her to escape the kitchen. She did not waste it. Sparing a glance at the clock on her way out, she thought, _Just keep him running for 35 minutes. I can do that. Then he can't hurt himself anymore. _The danger to herself scarcely crossed her mind. This was for Lupin. It felt so right to be here for his sake that the consideration that there was any sacrafice on her part came with a start. _Is there really anything I'd rather be doing than making this full moon easier for him? _

The wolf re-oriented himself, shaking Lupin's head after the fall in a blur of tawny, gray-streaked hair. The gesture felt unnatural, his human shoulders tense and unaccustomed to such a movement. But the eclipse no longer predominated his field of vision, and the moon's power over him surged through his body, his own blood the tides it called forth. The chase was born anew as her lingering scent filled his nostrils.

* * *

Sirius raced through the house, wondering at his own motives. _Surely Buckbeak couldn't _collapse_ the ceiling. _Yes, he did want to calm the hippogriff, but it was more of an excuse to leave. In fact, he was surprised Tonks hadn't seen right through it. Although, he supposed she _was_ rather preoccupied. 

As soon as the words had passed his lips about her leaving, he realized he didn't want her to. And though he probably didn't even know it, neither did Lupin. That man was stubborn to a fault sometimes, especially in his consideration of other people. Someone needed to get him past that. Sirius himself had been unable to do it, but he hadn't tried other than a few playful arguments back at Hogwarts. He and James would always use humor to end the arguments. Lupin would remain calm and collected, rational in the face of their fury or distress.

But whenever it was said in a joking manner, _Moony, just face it. You're stuck with us. No matter how many times you try to scare us off, we're still coming back, _Lupin couldn't help but smile and relent. The whole world, or everyone who knew about his condition, with very few exceptions, feared him or was repulsed by him. It didn't matter that only once a month was he a savage monster. Anyone so inflicted couldn't possibly be a decent person the rest of the time. Those were the attitudes he grew up with, lived with, dealt with every day, expected. If he expected anything else it only led to disappointment, for the fear and repulsion were there, however deep they were buried, and could resurface at any time.

When shown that true, honorable intention of friendship, which he craved more than anything, he could not resist.

Sirius reached Buckbeak, speaking soothingly to reassure the majestic creature that no harm would come to him. The franticness ceased, but Buckbeak was agitated and let it be known. Blue-gray feathers were fluffed out to make the hippogriff appear nearly twice his size, and his great wings began to unfurl. Sirius made a low reverence, but Buckbeak was so familiar with him it was unnecessary. An uncertain trill greeted the wizard.

A dead ferret placated the hippogriff quickly enough. Greedily devouring the snack, Buckbeak forgot why he had been so upset. Sirius watched him eat, lost deep in his own thoughts. There was too much time for them in confinement, something he had learned both from his years at Azkaban and now here, at Grimmauld Place. The void idleness and excess time would ever be filled by thought.

Sometimes he wished he could clear his mind of every last one, because after a while they all began to weigh down on him. Thinking of Harry or Lupin or Tonks never failed to cheer him up, but even then free time let him think things out too far. Like the whispered warning that came unbidden, _Unfortuantely, love is so much more complicated than friendship._

A harsh, ragged sound cut the air that Tonks dimly registered was her own breathing. She was in excellent shape but half an hour of running through the house avoiding someone with every intention of attacking you was taking its toll. They had gone from the kitchen to the living room, back upstairs, down again, and finally to the backyard, which was spacious and provided room to run with less obstacles for Tonks to trip over. However, noting the final stages of the eclipse, she directed them to the den, figuring he would want to be inside for the transformation.

The night sky illuminated nothing, the starlight pale and flickering and far too distant. Lupin looked none the worse for the wear, as far as being out of breath. The madness that drove him paid no heed to endurance.

The pain must have reached its height, for he sprinted forward with a sudden burst of energy and an echo of poisoned hope in the deep amber orbs that were his eyes.

Tonks ran through the springy grass, which felt lush and cool under her feet, but also made them itch unbearably. There had been no time for her to don her shoes and she hated wearing them most of the time anyway. Reaching the door, she slammed it behind her in order to gain a few precious seconds of time. It creaked and bent under the strain Lupin put on it until she was sure it would burst.

But the door wasn't locked because she did want him to come in. He eventually found the handle and enough sense to remember it's use. As Tonks ran through the hallway, she abandoned her usual practice of remaining as silent as possible so as not to wake up the portrait. "Hey! You want to scream, now's the time to do it!" Mrs. Black woke with her face contorted in rage and, as expected, commenced her usual litany of bellowed insults.

Lupin's sensitive ears were almost bleeding from the volume and pitch of her cries. He stopped in the middle of the hallway and covered his ears with his hands, doubling over. Despite this setback, the wolf's determination remained undimmed. It took several moments before he could bring himself to move again, and he let out a shriek of his own as he did so, but he moved as fluidly and with as single-mindedness of purpose as ever.

Sheer elation bubbled within Tonks that it was almost over. No one had been harmed; she had succeeded. But the celebration was a second too soon.

He caught up with her at the eleventh hour. The strength of his fingers as they closed around her throat was impossible. Flesh and bone could not be so strong. She started to choke and gasped for breath, seeking his eyes but unable to find them amid the flurry of movement as he flung her against the wall.

Lupin had not let go of her in the process. The iron grip fixed firmly about the base of her throat. But now his face was inches from her own and she was trapped between him and the wall.

Biting or scratching she steeled herself for, they were what the wolf's instincts called out for him to do, but this conflicted hesitation came as a surprise. Tonks could tell he was fighting the urges with every last ounce of willpower. His upper lip twitched in what she thought was a snarl, but turned out to be an effort to speak.

"W-w-wrrrrrrghhhhhhh." It turned into a growl and he tried again. "W-why?"

The meaning was clear to her. _Why did I come? Why did I risk this?_ He could read the distinct lack of fear in her face and it confused him.

Tonks brought her hands up to pry his off of her throat. It lessened a little, but that was his doing, and the pressure increased again as the battle for control continued to wage.

A _complete_ silence unlike any she had previously experienced descended and Tonks knew without knowing how she knew that the shadow now fully encompassed the moon. He jerked back as if he had been burned his eyelids fluttered in his exertion not to pass out in pain.

The slight form of the young witch sunk to the ground, weak and dizzy, gingerly fingering the purple marks around her throat. She steadied her breathing and gulped a few times before managing, "Because I am not going to let you live your whole life afraid of yourself and what you can do. Because no one deserves to feel so much guilt for something they cannot help, and you needed someone to tell you that. And because you don't have to be the lone wolf, if you would just let someone in and believe them when they say they accept you the way you are."

He was beyond speech, but his eyes softened before widening with a flare of pain, and she knew he had heard her.

The transformation was easier this time; Lupin was ready. Normally the transformation was the part he dreaded, but this time….the eclipse turned the world upside down and bent all the rules. This time, it would be as easy, if not as painless, as it would ever get, because the wolf had already been trying for more than an hour to break free.

His body bent backwards at an awkward angle and his fingers and toes tensed as he went rigid. Fur erupted along his back and arms; his face elongated, nose and mouth merging into a muzzle. Before it fully sunk in that he was changing it was done, and a wolf stood before her. Light brown fur flecked with gray.

Tonks sighed and leaned her head back against the wall, breathing deeply. She bit her lip, waiting. _What next?_ The wolf whimpered and walked forward timidly, exhausted. He laid his head on her lap and curled up next to her to sleep.

* * *

A/N: Worth the wait, I hope? 

Reviewer Responses:

**Bograt:** I hope it wasn't too horrible of a tantrum…I know, I'm so sorry about the cliffhanger. I really thought I'd be able to get this up sooner. Glad you're enjoying the story. Thanks for reviewing!

**Alli-Baby:** Thanks for the feedback about the cliffhangers. I'll keep it all in mind. Next time if I know I won't be able to update I'll leave the story in a better place. Yeah, writing that part gave me shivers too. I just felt so bad for him. Thanks for being such a loyal reviewer!

**dreamy-crazygirl:** I understand, I have that habit too sometimes but now that I write and understand how much reviews mean I try to keep up with it. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

**Duck Goddess:**Descriptions in this chapter flow with the ones in the last, and are they just as realistic? I'm trying to work with what's in the books but also give it my own spin because of the eclipse part. I can't tell you how much I appreciate having such a loyal reviewer from the beginning of the story!

**Sammy Black:** Yay! A positive reaction to the cliffhanger! I've had a few good responses but most people are just frustrated.

**TreCoolLuver:** Thank you! I have to say it's not entirely original, but I really like how their relationship evolves because the characters are truly perfect for each other, and I can envision each stage. As much tension and hinting as there has been, I still wouldn't classify them as much more than friends yet, and they still have a long way to go. Hope you'll stick around and see where this story goes!

**Blondie09:** I'm sorry you don't approve, and I appreciate you telling me so. Again, I wouldn't have ended it there if I had known it would be more than a day before I would be able to post the next installment. But I write for me and end the chapter where my muse insists. However, I could post both chapters later and closer together if there'll be a cliffhanger, since I do post for the readers.

**Rukia:**I love to explore the dynamics of both characters. They are fascinating, and I'm thrilled you think it all flows smoothly. If you're interested, and the grammar is what's stopping you from publishing, I'd be more than happy to beta for you. I love editing stories and I'm something of a grammar freak. (Plus it's much easier to edit other stories than your own). Let me know by your next review or e-mail me at elletholorien20 (at) aol 


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